Why Sales Letters Fail

Why Sales Letters Fail

No headline. Boring headline. Opening sentence fails to grab attention.

No PS. If you HAD written a decent headline and opening sentence, a PS would provide people who want your product but don't have time to read your sales patter the chance to act now.

No sense of humour. Does anyone really need another grumpy supplier in their lives?

No footnote*****

No call to action. Doesn't encourage the reader to actually DO anything.

Talks about the writer. "I'd like to take the opportunity to introduce myself". Pointless.

Lame salutation. "Dear Mr/Mrs/Ms surname", or "Dear Sir/Madam" is what the power company calls me when they want to come and read my meter.

Weak credibility and relevance statements. Full of adjectives and superlatives. Short on facts. "Bespoke, end-to-end, multi-dimensional integrated solutions to discerning clients". Yak. Yak, yak, yak!

Insulting motivational sentences designed for gullible idiots. "Thousands of companies just like yours are already gaining this competitive advantage".

Unbelievable product/service claims.

"Tells" about a product but does nothing to make readers want to know more about it. OK, you've told me. So what! Do you want your stamps back or something?

Crap Design. People who write bad sales letters always seem to choose the tackiest fonts.

Too Clever. Initial clever twist causes the reader to pause in his thinking. Good. But doesn't use this pause to elicit action. Very Bad. Subsequent clever twists have less impact and lead the reader further away from action. Fatal. By the way, what DO you want the reader to do? Why don't you just write a letter and say so?

Too lazy.

Whoever designed the sales letter templates in Microsoft Office needs to get a life.

Too many "buzz" words. There is a certain type of person who is turned on by the words "How To". I'm not one of them.

Gimmicks. "Power Offers" with "Bonus Pile-Ons". Assuming that we're all lazy procrastinators who need some kind of artificial deadline or contrived scarcity to motivate us to do anything.

Canned testimonials from people no one has ever heard of. "...Your fine booklet How To Make Money From Customers Who Ask For A Refund is an absolute gold mine of information. I thought I knew a lot about writing sales letters but your insight has opened my eyes. I only wish I'd had this valuable knowledge sooner..."

Too impersonal. Pitching prospects instead of talking to people.

Too cute. Attempt to convey feeling of excitement with unrelated graphics and artwork tires the reader's eyes and disrupts the flow of the message.

Sign-off too perfunctory. "Thank you for your consideration".

Sign-off too over-the-top. "Don't hesitate! Take advantage of this amazing opportunity!".

Sign-offs are an art form in themselves and if you haven't got your head around writing headlines, opening sentences and footnotes you areunlikely to have mastered the finer points of leaving a good impression when saying good-bye.

Goodbye!

***** If you had a sense of humour, you might have thought of a joke that your readers would enjoy and a well-placed footnote might have given it an interesting twist.

Michael Vandenberg

Artist & Entrepreneur, based in Newcastle upon Tyne (UK). Presently building a community-development company from scratch which collects quality waste materials from the 4,000 companies in the North East that make and sell physical products and uses them to manufacturer crafts and feel-good comfort items - kites, paper lanterns, bubble pipes (for blowing gigantic bubbles), "shoji" screens with non-oriental themes, and a wide variety of cool & groovy knick-knacks and doo-dads).

We are "pre-revenues" at the moment - a fancy way of saying that we have spent all our money and are still a month away from having a critical mass of salable products and a couple of months from a decent working web-site. As a result, we need to "get clever, fast!" with the marketing.

I have a lifetime of experience doing this for clients as a high-end copywriter/low-end business consultant. This is the first time I have ever done this for a business of my own - which has given me a whole new perspective on marketing and I will be writing extensively about my experiences in the coming months.

Meanwhile, please send comments, encouragement, enquiries and product orders to: practicaldirectmarketing@yahoo.co.uk.

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